Full Circle Poem by Mary Champion

I had no faith that there was any god,
never mind one who answered our prayers.
But when desperation intrudes, reason
leaves by the back door and you cling to straws.

That's how I came to be lying in bed
eyes closed, silently pleading for mercy.
I prayed to my nebulous deity
‘til sleep put an end to my posturing.

I dreamed a heavenly chorus who sang
all night long, or so it seemed when I woke.
But the words were largely lost as daylight
bleached out the memory, reminding me

that the world had ended just yesterday;
reminding me that I had nothing left
to hope for, had lost my capacity
to imagine a meaningful future.

As I carried out my dreary duties
numbly interacting with my fellows,
fragments of the dream chorus still echoed -
'You have no choice - just shoulder your sorrow,

walk into tomorrow.' Fatuous words
bringing no comfort, igniting no hope.
'His love is the beacon' that's what they sang.
But no light shone to dispel the darkness.

There was only the Voice, the silent voice
speaking in riddles as I went insane -
the voice that proved to be a better muse
than I had ever known. But even he

has left and all that remains is a cache
of world-changing secrets that might be lies.
I have no faith that there is any god,
never mind one who answers our prayers.