Getting Mugged For Christmas Poem by Ashley Hawkes

Getting mugged for Christmas
Christmas girls and boys
We're getting mugged for Christmas
Round yon virgin toys

Homeward Christmas folly
Never felt so good
Coming to an alley
IN YOUR NEIGHBOURHOOD

FIIIIIVE Golden coins...
Was all we had
They tried to take them
So I smashed one in the face
And I screamed like a partridge in a Puriri

(Return to original tune)
My best friend fell over
And they kicked him in the back
I was not too sober
So I joined in the attack.

If you try to take my money
I won't calls the pigs
I will simply run away
after kicking you in the figs

FIIIIIIVE Golden Coins...

Getting mugged for Christmas
Christmas girls and boys
Getting mugged for Christmas
By a Fat Santa Claus.