Arsene Hodali

Give Me Enough Time And I’ll Think About How I’m A Bad Mother - Poem by Arsene Hodali

when there’s no beer in the fridge
sometimes i think

the poets are just
so afraid

too afraid
to write the book
to bleed for that long

most times i think
they tell themselves
they don’t have enough time

i’m rushing, speeding
hopping, home
past red lights a plenty

i don’t have enough time
i don’t have enough time

my fingers are wet
the water has broke

in this one moment
in this delivery
i’m not afraid

of these red lights
of these safeguards

i’m not afraid
of these demands
to touch my face
to walk these lines

in this one moment
i am limitless
i am not afraid

i wake up and find
another still-born birth

someone at the bar
told me that
on her fifth marriage
she’d finally learnt
how to be a good mother

i asked her how
(she didn’t know it
i’m desperate)

she pulled me in
told me you just have to stop

stop being so drunk

she told me that
it thins blood
but after

after taking the piss
long enough
you find it
suffocates the home
the children

she told me to trust her
after all
she was on her sixth marriage

i asked her how
how she’d stopped
remembering failed marriages

how’d she’d learnt
to caress babies
with dry
shaking hands

how’d she’d stopped
being so afraid

too afraid
of lines and stop signs

she told me she hasn’t
you don’t

you just stop being so drunk
and give yourself enough time

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Poem Submitted: Thursday, June 13, 2013

Poem Edited: Tuesday, July 30, 2013

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