Justin Reamer

Freshman - 967 Points (2 October 1993 / Holland, Michigan)

Hades - Poem by Justin Reamer

I am Hades, god of the underworld,
And you may have heard
The story about my origins,
With Zeussie being hero and all,
And, yeah, I guess
I give him credit for that,
But I guess I will tell
You a little bit more about myself.

I am Zeus' brother,
And I guess I am what my
Siblings call the 'loser'
Of the family.
I am a nice guy,
And I have not smitten
Any mortal in my entire life,
But my brothers and sisters
Seem to hate me for no
Reason whatsoever.

I am a quiet god,
And I am very reserved
And very shy,
And I like to spend my
Time learning about
The world around me
And learning new things
That can help me,
But, yes, it gets very
Lonely down here in
The Underworld,
Especially when
Your siblings hate your guts.

Well, after Zeus defeated
My father Cronus and
Rescued all of us
(My siblings and me,
That is) ,
Poseidon and Zeus got into a fight
About who should rule the heavens.
I did not want to rule the heavens,
But, I did want to rule the Ocean
Because I am fascinated with fish
And sharks and whales
And all of the sea's creatures,
But, of course,
My brothers wouldn't have
That since they thought I was
Incompetent,
So, we got into a card game.

We played poker,
And Zeus cheated both
Seidie and me
Out in cards,
(Let's face it;
He always cheats) ,
And so, he got to
Sit on Mt. Olympus,
And Poseidon took the
Ocean because he
Is a jack ass
Just like my older brother,
And I was left with the
Underworld,
And it sucks down here.

It is very lonely down here,
And I hate it because
There is no sunlight that
I can see
(Because Helios never
Comes my way) ,
And all the souls
Who made bad decisions
In life are always moaning
In the river Styx,
And the harpies keep trying
To steal my food
And keep whining about
How I treat them so badly
(When they are the most
Irritable and ugliest things
That my siblings ever created):
And the Furies keep trying
To make me feel guilty
About things I did not even do
(Such as stealing aegis from
Zeus, even though I want nothing
To do with my brother and his
Damned shield, and since a mortal
Stole it from him):
And the Fates won't shut up
About threatening to make
My few children (who are demigods)
Die before my eyes;
And the Grey Women won't
Be quiet about trying to tell me
That my future is even bleaker
Than my life is right now;
And my father,
Who ate me whole,
Never stops whining about
How he is in so much
Pain down in Tartarus.
It can get very lonely down
Here, but I guess I always
Have Cerberus to keep me
Company.

Cerberus is my pet
Whom I have always loved
Since I was a little boy,
And he has three heads,
And a snake tail.
He is gigantic,
And he loves to chase
Elephant steak,
Which I get for him
As a treat.
He loves to play,
And he is very amiable,
And that is what I like about him,
But Cerbie, even though cute,
Was not enough to keep me happy.

When I went to the mortal world,
I met a beautiful goddess
Named Persephone,
The daughter of my sister Demeter.
I, being the shy guy in the family,
Was hesitant about talking to her,
But I talked to her anyway.

Persephone actually conversed
With me,
And she did not shun
Me away like the rest
Of my family would.
She actually talked to me,
And that made me happy.

Unlike mythology,
Which says I kidnapped her,
Persephone actually fell
In love with me,
And she said she wanted
To get away from her
Mother who was like a tyrant,
And so she went with me to
The underworld and married me.
I, being a gentleman,
Catered to Persephone's every need,
And cared for her, no matter what.
I was in love with her,
And she with me,
And we were both happy.
We would even walk in the gardens
For crying out loud
Because we were so happy!
And, when she wanted to,
I would take her to the mortal
World in order to see the sun.

However, Demeter is such
A selfish creep
That she wept and
Made mortals suffer
Because she lost her
Childish 'plaything, '
As Sephie worded it,
And she made all the mortals
Suffer because of it.
She is such a jerk!

And, even worse,
She gets my brother involved,
Who is the biggest arse
In the entire universe,
And so Zeus had to decide
On what to do!

Well, Zeus made me forfeit
My beautiful wife
In order to keep
Demeter happy and to keep
The world in balance.
So, Sephie had to spend time
With her awful mother
During the summer months,
And those were always the lonely
Times for me,
And then she spent the winter
Months with me,
Which were the best times of my life.

I mean, now that it is winter,
I am the happiest god
In the entire universe,
And Sephie is happy to be
With me,
But, alas, the mortals
Still suffer because of
Demeter's self-centredness.
I feel for them,
And, yes, my sister is
One mean b#%^&,
And I pity the mortals
Who suffer,
But, yet, I am happier
Than ever,
For I have found the
Love of my immortal life,
Who shall never leave my side.

Well, it was nice meeting you,
And I have some business to conduct,
So I thank you for your time.


Poet's Notes about The Poem

This is one of the Greek gods poems. It is meant to make mythology more entertaining. I hope you enjoy it, and feel free to comment and vote.

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Poem Submitted: Saturday, September 1, 2012



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