Halle Loo? Jah! Poem by Dan Reynolds

(May be sung to the tune of 'Hallelujah'; ¬)

They say ye canny fill yer breechs
Wi' tatty scones and boiled leeks
But you don't know whit we went through tay see ya
Diarrhoea. Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea, Diarrhoee-ee-ee-ee-ya

I'd like tay lay hons oan the bam
Who hid ma feekin diocalms
That's why ma erse is hingin o'er the pier
Diarrhoea. Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea, Diarrhoee-ee-ee-ee-ya

That Blackpool beach had golden sand
Before these things got oot o' hand
The consequence o' dodgy grub and bee-arr.
Diarrhoea. Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea, Diarrhoee-ee-ee-ee-ya

And when ma erse hole touched the sea
The briney watter stingin' me
I knew that it wiz gonnay cost me deer
I could've filled the Firth of Forth
I screamed until ma throat wiz hoarse
I've never cared for onomatopoeia.
Diarrhoea. Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea, Diarrhoee-ee-ee-ee-ya