Heaven Sans Your Nagging! Poem by P K Joy

Hello, my darling widowed and bereaved!
I ‘m sorry indeed that this letter is delayed.
God’s judgment’s over. I am admitted in heaven.
You can tell your friends that my virtues have been proven!

Here in heaven I have just settled down
With the help noble angels have kindly given.
However, life for me here is really boring.
Even heaven is hell sans your daily nagging.

My darling, I feel your absence everywhere.
Loneliness haunts me like a dreadful specter.
The whole of this place is a big silent hollow.
For, you aren’t there like a shadow to follow,
Watching me always like a vigilant sleuth,
Charging me with wrongs with no trace of truth,
Day and night finding fault with one and all of in-laws,
Blaming me constantly for all your actions’ flaws,
Raising of demands which my cajoling can’t reduce,
And nagging me for silly things with short-lived truce.
Absence of these ‘amusements’ which add spice to life
Is making me realize now the worth of a good wife.

Dear, I have appealed to God to get you also here
But He turned my appeal down and showed His ire.
You’re condemned to widowhood for five and a half years
For nagging me continually to the point of my tears.
I told Him that I have always enjoyed your nagging
And nagging has indeed made our family life charming.
This He doesn’t understand. For He’s an old bachelor!
And He tells me with anger that I am a big liar!

Dear, if I persist and rouse His wrath,
To hell He might send me. That will be bad for us both.
So let’s resolve to wait till your five and a half years end.
Then you’ll attain heaven and good life here we can spend
Till then darling daily write a long nagging letter
And mail to: More doses I will have later!