Heavens Above Poem by Mary Champion

(AND BELOW)

Heaven,
in Christian myth,
sounds dead boring!
A case of jam today and dry bread tomorrow.
All that joyless virtue and hymn singing -
endlessly praising the Lord.
Far too Puritan -
too much like North Korea for me.

Catholics even go to purgatory first -
a sort of boot-camp to toughen you up
for the eternal tedium.
Perhaps those pearly gates
were purloined from a cemetery.

But there are other versions -
like those offering unlimited sex to mass murderers -
Except females don't qualify -
typical of the creeds that spawned them -
sexist at best
misogynist at worst.

Judaism leads us up the garden path to Eden-
beautiful but ultimately monotonous.
Norse Heaven is full of fallen warriors
boozing and brawling their way through Eternity.
For Ancient Egyptians - endless peace
with bountiful supplies of beer, bread
and presumably, flatulence!
Not a feminist realm though -
Men could have all the wives they wanted -
No mention of what the wives might desire.

For Hindus, there is love and fellowship with Vishnu forever-
but, as usual, vague on the details;
apart from the regulation glut of females
for the convenience of men.

The Greeks, as always,
Had a word for it,
two actually,
Elysian Fields -
Aka ‘The Islands of the Blessed'.
No work, no strife
and trees laden with honey-sweet fruit.
Eternal peace guaranteed,
as only the good ever got there;
so never over-crowded.

As I heard, Aztecs
Were more inclusive -
Welcoming anyone into Mictlan,
regardless of life-style or sinning level -
an equal opportunities Heaven.
They even had a special section
for victims of human sacrifice -
essential - given the blood lust
of South American Gods.

Of all the Heavens on offer,
My favourite is the Irish -
Away with the Faeries -
In a perfect land of eternal youth and happiness.
And it has an earthly location -
Somewhere in the Atlantic!
So not too far to travel.
Just a bit wet -
like Ireland.

Only one snag-
but a big one -
when the Sun enters its red-giant phase,
greedily swallowing the Earth,
Heaven will go with it.