How I Feel Poem by joses tirtabudi

It's like this - I always get hit when I think I'm free.
It's right then something always hits me.
I only wanted to help - not see you slip away.
Fall into the same pit I did - misery and decay.
But it's like there's always a catch.
We say we won't fall but we're caught looking back.
Thought I could walk this line: maybe I can -
But thinking about this leaves me with shaking hands.
The rush of my blood makes me feel alive
And I think you feel it too, but I could be mesmerized.
I know how to play this game, but so far I've failed.
I go mountain climbing to find my partner bailed.
I always say I'm going to slow it down
But I always find myself floating off the ground.
Don't want to go to high - lose control
Crash and burn - lose the treasure I hold.
So here I am, spilling what I feel inside -
The fears that plague me at night.
Seriously doubting if I can leave it the way it is -
Don't want to time it wrong and ruin this.
Afraid that you don't get this feeling -
Worried it'll end with you leaving.
You make me feel alive - but don't know if it'll survive,
Maybe I should just let it flow and maybe I'll revive.