I Am Leila Poem by Mystic Qalandar

To speak what is veiled,
I open the silent sanctuary
nested within my own breath—
and see at once:
there is no winding path
to some ancient home,
for I have never left
the eternal realm
where Truth resides.

I no longer chase
phantoms of an imagined beloved,
nor reach for arms
stretching from beyond myself.
Separation—
a restless hymn composed by illusion,
a wandering mirage
born of the mind's own thirst.

Through how many nights
did I whisper, trembling—
"Hayleila, tender siren,
you have betrayed me…"
Yet the voice I feared
was only my own sacred name,
echoing through the hollow,
unheard, unclaimed—
soft as dawn's first sigh
beneath my ribs:
I am Leila. I am Leila.

Inside that narrow chamber
I once called "home, "
I could not reach the core—
the luminous pulse
beating beneath every veil,
the sacred rhythm
that sings my haqiqa.

Duality wrapped me
in its heavy, dim cloak;
I sculpted the formless
into a cold statue,
kissed its silent lips,
mistaking stillness
for divine reply.

But now—
O witness—
there is only clarity:
a light that pierces veils
thin as breath.

I lean wholly into joy—
the timeless presence
that has cradled me
before all beginnings.
I have fallen into the Real:
the single breath,
the one heart,
the infinite unity
where all worlds dissolve.

Here, in this knowing,
I return—
to the place never left,
to the home untouched by distance.
I have always been.

—December,8,2025