I Could No Longer Be Poem by Josephine Dunn

I COULD NO LONGER BE

I could no longer be her.

She who dreamt of you.
Who imagined such fantastic futures.
She who conceived the idea of you,
Who conceived the reality of you.
She who conceived you,
Who carried you compact, safe,
Within her womb.
She who screamed bearing you,
Who held your slippery head in warm hands,
Who lifted you to her breast and
Quenched your first thirst.
She who stroked your face and
Stilled your first cry.
She who held you and
Calmed your first fears.
She who watched over you
In your first hours,
Sleepless as you slept,
Smiling as you dreamed.

I could no longer be her.

She who dried your little tears,
She who wiped clean muddy knees,
She who washed away bloody noses,
She who ran with you in summer games,
She who swam with you upon her back,
She who let you swing from braids,
She who carried your wriggling forms,
She who taught you your first words,
She who always held your hands,
She who taught you how to draw,
She who watched your every move,
Sleepless as you slept,
Smiling as you dreamed.

I could no longer be her.

She who heard your angry shouts,
She who saw you stand and stare,
She who felt your spiteful taunts,
She who knew your fears and woes,
She who bore your fists and knees
She who cried but could not leave,
She who loved but was not loved,
She whose dreams were rent and torn,
She who’s patience so careworn.

I could no longer NOT BE ME.