I Cry Now Poem by Marie WardAlonge

I was not there to see your dying face.
I wallowed in my sorrow along with my declining grace.
Your life-I would not watch it waste.
I didn't want to say goodbye.
I just wanted to escape.

Just a year before, you were healthy and fine.
You were a beautiful girl just hitting your prime.
You had great style.
I never thought you would lose that beautiful smile.

We would hang out and you would show me around.
We were two young girls enjoying life and painting the town.
A job opportunity came your way and you had to seek.
You were moving to New York and leaving in a week.

I knew for our relationship this would be the end.
With the big city calling, I had to understand.
Love ones leaving me, I knew this was a trend.
In this Iowa city, you were my first friend.

As you moved on, so did I.
I don't even remember saying goodbye.
However, I wished you nothing but the best.
You were out to fulfill life's big test.

My emotions ran high.
I did miss you.
I couldn't deny.
I saw you just like the rest.
You were unreliable too.

A year gone and you returned to the fold.
You were back in town I was told.
Things had changed between us.
My life was not on hold.

Later, I heard a shocking rumor.
My mother told me you had a brain tumor.
I thought you, we would lose.
No one realized how soon.
I couldn't take it.
I ran for comfort and for more booze.

Then, we received the worst news.
Your brief life was done.
A reconciliation between us, there would be none.
Your funeral I could not attend.
I had wanted to remember you as beautiful back when...

No crack of pain was in your voice.
Hearing your soft laugh when you rejoiced.
When you had lovely hair,
Wearing your fur coat with flare.
You and I were a pair.
It wasn't that I didn't care.
I didn't want to stare.

I wanted to respect you in peace.
I knew your struggle had been released.
Death for me has never been an easy concept.
As a child, I ran off, hid, and wept.

Your memory, I have not done justice over the years.
Today, I lay these words with tears.
Sometimes, life slows you down to reflect.
To remember the things you need to correct.
You think why and how?
To you, my dear friend.
I didn't cry then...
I cry now.