I Have A Headache...

I have a headache...

I smile and suddenly started to sing,
to his ridiculous effort to wake me up.
Whereas, while watching her sleep all night,
I waited next to him until I woke up in the morning.

He thought he slept like himself all night,
He thought he woke up before anyone else,
I thought that my problem is just eating, drinking and sleeping like him,
He was trying to wake me with his familiar voice.

How much I would love to be one of those jellyfish without a brain and heart!
How much I would like to leave myself to the waves of the sea with all my cells and surrender to him completely...

How much I would love to get lost in the depths of the seas and mingle with the waters of the mysterious oceans, without worrying about where I am going...

This is known, this crowd is far from the earth, far from the Earth stuck in this body, the sky like the air, the matter like the matter, the farthest place of the universe as the middle of the Beginning and the End, the most distant place, the unknown mysteries that have not yet been unraveled. which is how much I would love to go to the home of nothingness...

But here I am, beside you,
You slept all night, I couldn't sleep.
I dreamed of places I wanted to go, places I could never go to.
I would like to go to places that cannot even exist in dreams.

And my friend, you're always early for everyone, late for me.
Would you like to be something else in another place, rejecting yourself and disliking like me? For example, a bird instead of a rooster and flying in the sky? Like being a vast night? Or would you want to be nothing like I want, not breathing, giving, walking, not stopping, talking, keeping quiet, not living, dying, that is what I want you to be? Have you ever been bored with crowing, eating, drinking, and the like? Have you ever wanted to be an entity that does not think, question, neither joy nor suffer?

It is certain that we cannot understand each other. Our common points are our obligations only, the main factors. If I had thought about the issue of Being-Nothing and knew that I would think of an unsolvable question for a lifetime, if I had it, I would tear my destiny, my destiny, tear off this boring story that was a rotating, vicious circle, or I would never have written my name on that story.

No, that's not what I mean. I can think, question, but there is an error in thinking and questioning things that have no end. There is a big mistake. We assume that there is God, okay. He gave us reason, okay. But there is a disproportion in mind. And we assume that God knows everything, everything, okay. He also knows that I will question the reason for everything, why he made everything, and I will never find the answer. Then why does it give me the ability to think and question all this? Does he want me to suffer? They say, you can't find that much of your questioning. If I can't find it, then why does it allow me to question that much of it? Is it disproportionate? Does he enjoy our pain and make fun of us? Or is there no God who created the universe?

Since these issues are deep and serious, it is not appropriate for us to know the ukrainian language or to cut it off without worrying about it.

Well, dear rooster, let's say there is no God. So, where, for what, and how did the essence, the main source of all these substances come from? Or how did this essence exist? There are two options, either always or existed from nothing. We're banging them on the wall, right? Yes. Why, my dear rooster? Because in two cases, the same raises three questions; Why, for what, how. So as I said before, every solution is actually a new node. A knot without end...

People like me can go to the very essence of existence and nothingness, even with the sound of a rooster. That's why I don't want to be me. Sometimes I want to be someone who doesn't complain about anything, cares about anything, is carefree, carefree, and carefree. This time I want to get away from them. I am someone who does not like what it is and wants to be, who wants to overcome the impossible and reach uselessness, and is even disgusted even when I want it. Why? Oh why?

- "Go eat breakfast, go sleep, go whatever you do, go, go away from me, go, don't mind me. You are crazy, crazy, because I think I'm talking, because I think I understand or listen to you. I'm a cock, that's it There is nothing beyond, go. What is beyond, go to that place away from me, where I cannot hear you, go, go, go! "

said my rooster.

What is happening?
Am I going crazy?
Where did the rooster disappeared?
Was there really?
Who am I?
Who wrote all this?
My cigarette is extinguished, did I drink it?
I have a headache...

Topic(s) of this poem: life

Poem Submitted: Friday, July 3, 2020

Form: Prose Poem

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