I'M Sick Comments

I like this, Jake. The rhythm and the momentum towards the end. Only silly suggestions: maybe break before last two lines? Maybe 'And do you know what makes it worse...' is a separate line on its own? ...which you could then use as a mandate to loose the rhyme scheme entirely for the last stanzas if you wanted. I love the balanced echo of the opening of I chose' in the penultimate line. I would have considered 'us' as an end word with even more counterpoint/punch/contrast, but that may not be true to this spirit. It's a very controlled poem. Nice job!