If I Am To Be Poem by ENO SUTRAMAN

If I AM? What I am in this river of times?
I am the author of these doggerel rimes,
But not of the small letter cursive -if i am?
The decision and labors of birth not mine?
Augment, oh Lord, the poor italic, cursive me
To symbol exclamatory levitation
Away from predatory castigation
To my Muse my Meditation
Her, especially, from every vantage-point,
On this globe and beyond, fascinating
In the starry realms of cosmic sheen-
My queen and Muse supreme -
Balance constant of pro and con want
Art with life's essence diamond bond,
But the touchstone is you my Lord
Cardinal The First my point, to be or not to be at all-
If devoid of substance luminous is my soul,
Let it glean in patience, Feb choosiest rays,
At the gates of dawn sing ancient lays,
Bless me Father not to be in vanity and lies
Not a morbid accursed little terror of instinct and sighs,
To see what is meant only for me in this river of eyes,
If I am by your Grace in Capital letter
TO BE....