If Only, If Only. Poem by Shannon Nicole

I've been told to go kill myself,
To go jump off a cliff,
To go die in a hole.
If only, if only is what I always said.
If only no one loved me,
If only no one cared.
If only, if only is what I always said.
Everytime I would even attempt,
Someone turned my way.
Hey look,
How come someone cares now?
Didn't think I would do it?
Didn't think I had the guts to try?
I would have been successful if he wasn't there to pull me back,
I wouldn't be here now if he hadn't been here all along.

There's a thought in the way back of my brain,
Repeating and replaying,
A moment in the past,
Where all my mistakes took place.
A place where attempts were thought of as wrong,
A place where no one thought anything of it.

If only, if only is what I always said.