In The Sweetest Nothingness Poem by Iris Mista

I need to live in my own little world
As small as I am, in my vulnerability
Close the curtains, the cruelty outside
For living this life is my disability

I am not able to be as other humans
The last strength I had, it broke
I need peace, silence and nothingness
No triggers, reasonable or not, to provoke

It is impossible to make them understand
The pain and restlessness of my heart
I know they all mean for the better
And so do I, but nothing left to restart

Where the lights go out I can be found
No more smiles on my face, I am a ghost
I accept what could be there it faded
I give up, for I drown forever in the host

I can not be, please, don't you see?
So why not give me peace of days
Heavenly nothingness, hour after hour
In empty air to catch my own lost sun rays

That is how I want to live, please accept
Withdrawn in a fantasy world of light
And even though I know it all is fake
Without the pain of my being, no more fright

So I know, I realize, I am not real
But that is how I solely can be
For those who want me to stay alive
Only in the sweetest nothingness, I am free.

November 22nd,2013