Inner Addict Poem by Karl Newton

Inner addict
You promised me
Comfort
But only brought me pain

I sought security, comfort and acceptance
A life alone was my only sentence

I used to feel happy
But only became more depressed

I used to be outgoing
And
I became self-centred

I used to make and please Friends
But all I made
Was enemies

I wanted strength
But only ended up
Weakened and on my knees

I used to relax
But ended up restless
And full of nerves and paranoia

I wanted courage
The roar of a lion
But ended up
Scared
Rolled up inside
Like a scared little
Tortoise

I wanted to forget and escape
And blacked out completely
I aimed for heaven
And ended up in my own personal
Hell
I wanted to escape my problems
But only saw them multiply
I wanted to be happy
But all I did was cry

A one way road to death
At times literally fighting for breath
To ask me to use
Is to ask me not to feel

Someone asked me will I ever go back at all
Will I answer a craving if it does call?
In truth I don't know
But let me tell you this
I'm never as long as I have strength
Going back into
The abyss