Intelligence Is Imperfect Poem by Carey Lenehan

Did you know that...

Intelligence is imperfect...
but
plastic surgery will fix the flaws
so glaring to the eye,
which I will now hide.
Watch me tape some silicone
into the hollowed out remains
of a shaken morality
and call it knowledge.
Perhaps I can sculpt my kind of peace,
from the scarred battlegrounds of faith
and failed diplomacy,
with the tapered blade of a surgeon's scalpel
and call it necessity?
All I need,
is to apply a little liposuction
upon those irritating facts
and
Hey Presto!
We have a whole new set of meanings,
adapted interpretations
on the definition
of political protest
with which we may now design our world
the way I like it
so that no one really knows any longer
what is real and what is fake
or if there is any difference
between the two.
Score.

Did you know that...

I will hunt down and kill every terrorist...
just
to make the world a safer place
for my girls... and the dog,
hypoallergenically of course.
Now you will find me,
pulling the curtains around my recovery bed,
body-scanning every mortal
or non-conformist
who dares to bring sulphurised pants
across my borders.
In future,
dissenters must be laser epilated,
teeth-whitened
and grafted with skin from the contented
who are already many and ample.
In this way,
the savage ugliness of rationality
will be entirely exfoliated
before anyone sees the beauty of truth
and realises that the Constitution
has had the mother of all facelifts
and will never look the same again.


Did you know that...

My cause is just... my resolve unwavering
because
those whom I must appease
have set me on the path
to physical enlightenment
with the possibility of becoming
exactly like them in every way
so now,
all the imperfect thoughts I had
before I was elected
have been colonically irrigated,
flushed, filtered and purified
until little remains
but unidentifiable sludge.
Now with the channels cleared
and the toxins expunged,
bullshit passes uninterrupted
into the ready plumbing of trusting ears.
- It's like a miracle -
and all the things I was before
I am no longer.
This is a process I am anxious to share
with each and every American.
And some foreigners too...
If I can catch them.

Did you know that...

Yes we can!
But I didn't.
I wore a different hat
and pretended
it was the same one I had been sporting all along.
But you see,
this disguise has allowed me to redefine the world
to my own unique design,
which is much the same as the old design,
in fact,
I used it as a template,
but it has been tweaked and tucked
until I like the way it looks.
Of course the post-op will be bloody and
for a while,
quite painful
for those who suffer from the infection of diversity
but antibiotics
will soon clear that up.
And let it be seen
that I have changed the CIA to Xe
and made them beautiful,
interchangeable on all levels,
a delicious, hybrid, concoction of hate
for which I can never be blamed.
But I cannot rest
until all the ugliness that we do not wish to see
- because it offends who we think we are -
is gone,
plumped with botox,
so that the wrinkles
will never show...

Did you know that...

..When this war began, we were united
and I refuse to accept the notion
that we cannot summon that unity again
Because
I know better than anyone else,
how easy it is to persuade the insecure
that acid throwers lurk
on every corner,
whilst underwear bombers flock,
through passportless controls
waiting to cause third degree burns,
of a disfiguring nature,
to aircraft seats.
I cannot await the flood
of explosive breast implants
and incendiary hair extensions
lighting up the skies over America
as the imperfect hordes invade,
which is why I must act now,
no matter how wrong I might be in the future.
All errors can be redesigned
to resemble intent,
so be assured,
that even if my Intelligence is Imperfect
I
am not.