Let Me Love You Until I Die Poem by Jessica Henning

Contusions,
These are spread throughout your body;
When I see them I want to kiss them,
To make them go away.

I know you never did love me,
Quite the same as I adored you,
But none of that really matters now,
Now that I'm here with you...

My darling,
Don't push me away-
We are the entire world to each other-
We are all that's left for each other,
And it makes me weep when you say-

Stay away,
I don't want you to touch me,
I don't want you to see me,
See me wretched and broken and failing,
Failing you, failing me,
Failing God.

And I whisper,
Hush, now!
Don't mention him,
He loves you anyway, darling,
He loves you anyway.

And you moan, and you push me from you,
Shoot out spiteful words and phrases,
Try anything,
Say anything,
To make me leave your side.

And I never will.

And do you wonder, why I love you?
Why I wash these sores and lesions,
As if any manner of gentleness
Might make them go away?

You loved a man,
And I loved you,
And now I watch you fade away-
The only one here now is me,
And I promise I shall stay.

Let me take you in my arms,
When you shake with fear and weakness,
Let me kiss you softly, everywhere,
To ease the pain you suffer-

I'll tell you the truth now-
I want to wash your
Illness away for the same reasons
You want to love me;
And I don't understand this in you
For the same reasons
You don't understand this in me.

So, let me kiss you darling,
As you shake and reach for me,
As you tremble and whisper achingly,
My name.
And I will come into your arms,
To soothe the body racked by
Painful clutches.

My darling,
I shall sleep beside you during this rain,
This storm, alone and quiet, here,
Within this silent house-
And I shall tend to you like a nurse,
And dote on you like a wife,
And watch over you like a mother,
And squeeze you close to me,
Prone on clean, white, cotton sheets,
Like a long lost sister...

My sweet one,
As the months pass,
And the torment grows ever stronger, longer;
As it quickens and threatens to take you,
Swiftly, agonizingly, from me-

Let me love you until death,
My darling,
Let me love you now, forever;
Let me love you, my own way-

Let me love you until death-
Until death, my darling-
Until yours, so soon, so cruel, so wrong-
And then
Let me love you, until death my darling,
Love you forever...
Until death...
Until mine.