Live! ? Poem by Gule Rukhsar

I am at a loss.
I don't have the words
To put it out there anymore
For the pains that still reside within me.
I might have come out a winner,
But the fight is not over.
I still dread and fear
Losing myself
Even before I have
Found the lost person in me. I am
Searching within, but with every layer I peel,
I find another scar that you inflicted.
Every bruise that still has to heal,
Those painful memories
Are still fresh
Like it was only yesterday
When I was lost in the abyss of pain.
When I was grasping at straws to survive and be
Just a day more so that I could dream
Some more of the forlorn hope
That I could persevere.
That I could,
One day, have the courage
That I have now, but this isn't the end.
I have to fight some more and maybe every day
For the demons that you left behind
Are still living in my mind.
I now have to
Hope and reach further,
Further deep into myself to find
The courage to let go of the painful memories
Of all you have put me through,
Of all I have been through
And live!