Living Loss Poem by Spanner Thegob

LIVING LOSS
On an ordinary day death will come.
The world will carry on,
But without me.
I will not miss the solitude of quiet mornings,
The hallow, vacant nights.
The coming of the first caressing rays of mornings embittered light,
The endless, corrosive silence that follows the empty dawn.

I made it through days
Fought demons that no one saw.
And when sadness became acceptance, found peace.
I needed silence, was given lecture.
I needed comfort, was given opinion.

Shame covered me like a winter flurry,
Cold, heavy, all enveloping.
Shame leads to chaos!
Chaos of the mind! {I think too much.}
Chaos of the mind! {I think too little.}
Chaos of the mind?
it leaves me confused...

My quiet soul calms those inner voices,
To restore order from the chaos.
I suffer the loss, the absence of connection.
And I realise, I am the judge of my truth
Pain without remission?
Grief in the shadows?
My living loss!