Lost Dream Poem by Emmanuel Arunee Mwanza

Dear dream,
It is high time I sat down to think of you
And maybe think of us
It is high time I seriously look at what we should have done
And maybe the two of us could have changed
Maybe, not
Maybe, we could have changed the world
Not for worse
But for the better
Later,
In life I should have been proud of you
Not regretting about you
Not drowning in my on regrets
Wondering where I should have done better
Just as I had anticipated'
I mean
Just as we anticipated
You and me

Dear dream,
dream! ! !
Was what, I had to tell myself
Dream on! ! !
I tried hard to meet you
And bang! ! !
You were in sight
I …saw so much in you
I had that craving for you
That I …ooh…dear …I …ooh… dear dream
I felt like holding you unto me all times
You…were my thing….and then things changed
I was too into me…things changed
I was so lazy to reach out to you…things changed
I had Changed

Dear dream,
I was not really aware of what was to come if I never embraced you
Till the sunrise of my career,
When I-could-rise and you could have mattered…
"A" lot
That's where you should have been in my park
…In the first class of my career plane you should have been
And together we could fly places Lilongwe, Paris, Sydney, Cairo, London…
And so …
I felt…you were so dear to me …ooh dear dream
I could see you mattered,
Then I was 12,
They said I was just a kid, so true
But I had you, didn't I, my dear dream
And when I turned 16, they were amazed I still had you
But I was the most surprised of it all that I had you …still
Steel was what my body felt like…it was not just human but I was strong
Then I turned 20,
I realized I had been alone like for some time now
Without that thing that kept me going
Without it that made me strong
Without you… who made people amazed

I was not surprised …
With the way things had gone so far
Somehow, somewhere, somewhat I had lost you
My dear dream,
I was not the "me" I used to know, from my tender age
Now, I was in between a new life I never thought of, never longed for…am on the edge
Of being the best I could be and being the worst I can be
I just lost you my dear dream
I was to have a beautiful wife …now just a lost dream
I was to have a big company …now a lost dream
I was to be a life saver …now a lost dream
I was to be a mother when am 25 just a lost dream
I was to be a dad at 30 just a lost dream
And I was to be
A good father
A good mother
A good employee
All a lost dream

Am now confused…where did I lose you?
Together we should have been there for people
Together we should have….
I am sure,
Me and my dream should have gotten educated enough
Together we could have walked on the stairs towards greatness
But in case one of us is lazy or one of us was not cool with it
We could have been each other's elevator…especially you should have lifted me
I should have lifted myself…but all if I had not been so naughty
Only if I had a good team of friends
Who needed not to be perfect, but good enough to protect and perfect my dream
Only if I had heed that …it can wait…sex can wait…a thing I did not
Only if I had not taken that first sip of that bottle,
… "You were not going to get drunk"
, I lied to myself I wasn't to get drunk

At least I was not to get addicted to such lives…I did a lot…before I realized I had lost something
And you were…mine…you made me tick
But now, am just a jealousy being because I left you to change from being my dear dream to being
My lost dream! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !