Loving me is a waste of life.
You'll find me delicious at first. I'll come for you and you'll
feel like the only person in my world, because you will be.
Then with your life intertwined with mine you'll see the flaw.
Each emotion in turn will be detailed and consumed,
until you are hollow and almost soulless.
Only then will you realize the loss and try to pull away.
As you leave a piece of you will rip out and the adhesion will
stay with me forever. The empty space left behind will fit like
a puzzle piece
shaped
exactly
like
me
3. Doesn't work. A lot of telliness and the poem ends on a cliche (the puzzle piece/hole/etc has been done so many times by so many people.)
Really, really liked it until the first sentence of the last 'paragraph' - (As you leave a piece of you will rip out and the adhesion will stay with me forever.) . It just seemed awkward. If it weren't for that I would have given it a 10 (i gave it a 9)
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
OK when I first read it I like and then when I read over I didn't like it as well. I want to rework the words a litte.