Misconception Poem by Nathaniel Graves

'Conspiring conspiracies, ' she thought as
The tension between her hand and her pen
Illuminated an almost foul grin.
She was painting an elusive world,
Darkening and full of deprivation.
The world reflected her clear emotion.
A world where I reside as her shoulder.
But the world she made, I did not comply.
As she drew and drew to her heart's contempt,
I painted my own idealistic world.
A world opposed to her misconceptions.
A world that has always rebelled her thoughts.
Where every inch of ground despised dark,
Filling with the purity of white snows.
Contemplating, I traversed her forlorn
Landscape, cringed to the teeth, wishing that
My world would transcend and flood over hers,
Like elegant rivers rushing towards
Their goal of becoming the deltas of
Widely magnificent oceans and seas.
But, that is just a metaphorical
Reflection of my nonexistent wants.
I came to a stop, wondering why I,
The inexplicable wanderer of
Such an atrocious outlook, willingly
Was approached by such a breathtaking girl?
She exhibits qualities true to
That of a diluted, yet fragile, heart,
Vulnerable to every emotion.
But her stature followed beauty's law.
I've walked the charted streets of this
Familiar oblivion, and yet she
Turns her suppression towards my ignorance.
What could I possibly broadcast to her?
I'm consumed by this scene day by day,
What more is there to give or to say?
Despite everything created by the
Whim of sense, I am left unanswered.
Tightly grasping my movement-stricken
Structure, she held on to me as if I
Were her only friend, her only hope.
But, then again, I unfortunately
Was the only consciousness she came to
Know, other than herself or her parents.
We stood there, tangled in between our limbs.
'Conspirators, ' she said softly, looking
Peculiarly prominent through the
Folds of my eyes, expecting consension.
'I hate them all, ' she said, 'Conspirators.'
She mentioned that word again and again.
Upon release from her grave gentle grasp,
I had suspected the worst would soon come.
Realization asphyxiated me
As the ground below me cracked and crumbled.
'I'm not going to last much longer, ' she said.
'Reality has become such a burden.
I'm afraid that even I am no use in
This world; a world that I have almost
Comfortably drowned, has now been drained dry.'
Earth shattering noises filled the sky,
Decimating every inch of ground.
But she continued to hold on to me,
As if she showed signs of fear and regret.
As our last few moments churned within death's
Hand, I began to think, Why create I,
An inexplicable wanderer of
Such an atrocious outlook, and not give
Me the ability help and assist?
Was I not good enough to begin with?
Given only the ability to
Lean and alleviate on isn't enough
To satisfy the touch of depression.
If only I had the facility
To explicate my own world within hers,
Then maybe I could for once, see her smile.
Darkness enveloped us contently.
'Conspirators, ' she said with a dying
Sigh, weakening her grasp around my chest.
We floated there, within the bleak blackness,
With no ground to rest upon, and not sky
To immerse upon. Nothing, certainly
No one could save us from this dead verse.
Hanging by the moment of stillness, I
Submerged myself in thought, wishing that
My world would transcend and flood over hers.
Right at the brink my thought, she finally
Gave way, slowly falling towards her own
Unconsciousness, waiting to be swept
Away by the endless abyss from below.
Astonished, I unwillingly leaped fourth
And embraced her upper body with ease.
I couldn't explain this phenomenon.
I was only given the right to think,
And here I am, confining her within
My grasp. I spoke for the first time, calling
Her name, 'Madeline! ' I yelled raptly.
'Please let me relinquish your fragile heart! '
I pleaded, but all seemed lost once she spoke
Upon her last breath, 'I know about your
World. I've always known every thought
That you've elaborated upon.'
I interjected, 'Then why thoughtlessly
Condemn yourself and I in this matter
Between existence and demise! ? Why have
You, a shattering young woman of all
Possible exquisiteness, detained
Yourself in such a dismal and dull
World? ' She caught my breath and replied with a
Defining smile, 'Conspirators, ' she said,
'Conspiring conspiracies all around
Me, each and every day. They laugh as
They keep me cornered in my room, helpless.
I haven't any choice but to create and
Refine a world of my own, away from
Evil hands of them all! Everything!
It's all a lie! ' Her existence slowed as
She put fourth her remaining energy
Into the tears from her unfortunate
Eyes, 'Why me? Why do they all despise
Such a person like me? I don't recall
Causing any wrong to anyone, but then
Again, who am I to speak for myself? '
I curiously interrupted, firm
And sound as to why her thoughts misconstrue.
'Madeline, your life is solace on the
Other side, you shouldn't have any doubt
That your life is perfect. I see nothing
Of indignation within your daily
Life. Please, let me take you to the world I
Created, so that you can finally see
Past this horrible misunderstanding.”
I began to feel my body stiffen
As I lost every influence of speech
And recognition. 'Do you think that I
Am oblivious of your motives? I
Was the one who created you. After
All, even if I did oblige to
Your offer, I'd be falling into one of
The traps within the hands of the
Conspirators, ' she said hesitantly.
'I created you so that I could have a
Shoulder to lean on, and to have someone
That would listen to my every thought.
No one else seemed interested
In my wants or dire needs. But in the end,
It seems as though they've somehow wormed
Their infectious disease through the clear
Aperture of my mind's weak defenses.'
She released her clutch, drifting to the end.
Her body silhouetted a gleeful
Reassurance as she then collapsed within
Her own misinterpreted consciousness.
I stood there, floating in mid nothingness.
This is where I began to reminisce.
Each and every time she would come fourth
To me, she would speak of her troubles or
Complications, and not of her happy
Or precious moments in her existence.
If only she knew that the world around
Her would accepted her for the person
She is, maybe then, all of this wouldn't
Have happened in such an misconceived way.
With the darkness all around me, the world
Seemed like it hadn't changed from before.
I was still existing, even after
Her departure. She had given me a
second chance, and spared me from her burden.
I continued to descend, ascending
fourth my bitter end; a new beginning.
A beginning of which ceases all light.
A beginning that beholds no purpose.
An end that defies all of existence.
Why? Why save me from a terrible fate,
and plunge me towards the exact same?
I guess, the Conspirators are to blame?
Well, I suppose that, theoretically,
Hypocrisy never felt more crucial,
In this, perplexed, misconstrued cloture.

-11/22/09-