My Last Thoughts Poem by Kendra Sullivan

when i feel scared of u i know theres something wrong
when im happy with u i dont really know if im happy
when im sad around u your never there
i cry at thoughts of dying
i smile when i am lying
i dred the thought of you anymore its getting tough
your so angery and im so scared
i just dont know u anymore
i look at my scares and remember how i got them
was it a fight or was it just a struggle?
self harm is my way to deal and your is drinking till u cant stand
i lock my self in a dark room with you beating on the door
i fear for my life with you threting my chance to live
i leave like u ask in boxers and a top
in the freezing wind i walk up the street
you shut the door
i run to safety
you come back out screaming my name
i hide untill u go back in
sitting in the freezing cold i wait for my only chance
i still get no sympathy from the man you call a husband
i go in my room shut my door
i hold my breath at thoughts of u coming back
i cringe and the site in my mind
i turn on my tv
cry myself to sleep
u wake me up and u ask what happened
i look at u with such a shameful stare
and ask u tell me u were there
3