My Own Spectator Poem by Dcfizban@hotmail.com Cadywold

As I wander through the halls of my home
The strangest feelings in my bones
I'm not by myself, I'm not on my own
Theres eyes following me, wherever I roam

I sit in silence, I sit in dark
Listening to my thoughts, like a spectator
The things I hear, they stab at my heart
I will run away and try again later

Theres truth in every possibility
Not all of them, will I want to see
I hurt a lot just so you know
Chastising myself a really low blow

Its not all my fault, I understand this
I cant stop thinking that maybe it is
If I try to do something good for them
I only end up hurt and feeling down again

I'm taking advice my friends give to me
Do it for myself and live selfishly
You've got to move on, you live on your own
You cant afford to pay for both homes.

So on the morrow, my money is paid
Into my bank it is carefully laid
I will pay my own things, by my own stuff
And I don't care if she goes in the huff

Ignore her I will, and live my own life
For she, for months now has not been my wife
Forms have gone off, paperwork has been done
Divorce in progress, it wont be long.