Friday, June 28, 2013

My Rendezvous With God Comments

Rating: 4.3

Today I walk up with a new-fangled hope
As the sun flickered in my eyes,
It asked me not to beg for my stomach
But to earn for my cries.
...
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shrey tripathi
COMMENTS
Colin Beard 01 November 2013

I enjoyed reading this very creative poem, though may I make one suggestion? It seems that you're trying to follow a structure for each stanza, but you keep switching between structured and free verse. I suggest that you either stick to the structure, or remove the structure completely and make it a complete free verse. Other than that and a few grammatical errors, which could have been on purpose, The poem was rather enjoyable.

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Shrey Tripathi 28 June 2013

the best ever read i am 13

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