Adam McKim

Rookie - 222 Points (11/12/1984)

My Story Of Love And Heartbreak (The Paramirror) - Poem by Adam McKim

I'll tell you a story about a man,
A man whose life is not so grand.
A story about love and heartbreaks too,
Heartbreaks too painful, sad and blue.

And blue are the days that will be the worst,
The worst of all time, feelings cursed.
The days will drag on, drained of my glory,
My glory dies in the story.

The story will start out with love of course,
Of course it's happy, no remorse.
Start out with my heart flying high and free,
And free is my soul...love, the key.

The key which will let all of my guards down,
Guards down...ready for what's around.
Will let the pain in when ready to strike,
To strike at me when it feels like.

Feels like the love is draining from my heart,
My heart was filled til she departs.
Love is gone and I feel all of the ache,
The ache of love and then heartbreak.


Poet's Notes about The Poem

This is my own style that I created and I call it the Paramirror. A parody of The Mirror Sestet. It uses the same idea but in a different form with much more strict rules.

The rhyme scheme for each stanza is a/a/b/b
The meter for each stanza is 10/8/10/8

In each stanza, the last two words of line 1 is the first two words of line 2.

The fourth and fifth words of line 1 is the first two words of line 3.

The last two words of line 3 is the first two words of line 4.

In the next stanza, the last two words of the previous stanza is the first two words of line 1

And so on...

Comments about My Story Of Love And Heartbreak (The Paramirror) by Adam McKim

  • (11/9/2012 10:40:00 PM)


    A touching read, one that was captivating, the structure was perfect and the style a favorite. I especially love the second stanza, the story you tell is one that is old as time and fine like wine. THANK YOU for sharing (Report) Reply

    0 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • (8/23/2012 4:35:00 AM)


    You are a student of literature, and i can make ti out.....But if you are not, then, i'm just a fool....Well, very well written and composed.....True love never hides and it is a lot in your creations..... Keep It Up.....
    :)
    (Report) Reply

  • Ruth Rayment (8/17/2012 1:08:00 PM)


    Hey I absolutely love this deeply moving, flowing....reminded me in a strange of 'Dr Suess Cat in the Hat rhyming' just flowed of the page.... this poem required little effort to read brill x x (Report) Reply

  • Valerie Dohren (8/17/2012 1:08:00 PM)


    Excellent write Adam, well constructed. (Report) Reply

  • (8/17/2012 3:51:00 AM)


    it started out so beautiful then a little sad but each and every word is so full of emotion and i loved it it was like i was listing to the love song yet i was reading it......
    thank you for sharing it sir
    love,
    payal
    (Report) Reply

  • Tiana Webb (8/15/2012 6:50:00 PM)


    Wow, another amazing poem. Sometimes I get tired of repeating myself, but it's true. All of your poems flow, and seem as if they were meant to be written. This poem is kinda sad, but also has so much meaning.
    Tiana xx
    (Report) Reply

  • Ellias Anderson Jr. (8/15/2012 9:47:00 AM)


    Good poem, it defines a Nice AND deep story that we should concern about it
    nice and new structure Adam, nice style! ! !
    (Report) Reply

  • (8/15/2012 9:05:00 AM)


    Liked the poem, the idea is good, I would have preferred whose to whos, but that`s not so important. (Report) Reply

Read all 8 comments »



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Poem Submitted: Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Poem Edited: Saturday, December 1, 2012


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