Odes On Paper Iii Poem by Nyx C Styx

wherefore shall I dump these fantasy dreams?
I've slept to what I thought he seems
and awoke to a nightmare of truth
of the lust and lustre that fills his youth
and yet to me he seemed so saintly sweet
for him I thought my heart would always beat
now wherefore will I permit my self to burn
with what strength will I permit the page to turn
and now that truth has marked my heart
by my own hands I tear my self apart
and now I lament with regret and shame
at how this heart once beat to the sound of his name