Old Billy's New Boots (Jokem) Revised Without Profanity Poem by Dan Reynolds

Old Billy's New Boots (Jokem)

Old Billy bought himself some brand new boots
and wore them proudly, like a Cheshire Cat
They wouldn't match with any of his suits
But Billy couldn't give two sh…oots for that.

The trouble came when Billy's ageing wife
decided to ignore his latest buy
The finest boots he'd had in his whole life?
Calamity, they couldn't catch her eye!

So Billy, (bar the boots) stripped to the buff
and stomped into the parlour with aplomb.
His weary wife, by now, had seen enough
and saw her chance at last, to drop the bomb.

'Why are you stood there with your dangly bits? '
She asked, as if she couldn't give two hoots.
'It isn't dangling, Dear. Can't you see it's
just pointing to my brand new shiny boots! ! '

'That's such a shame' she said, then told him that.
she'd rather he had bought himself a hat!