Old Friends Poem by Oni Lasana

I am not the person you want me to be
You talk too fast and too much for me
I can't listen carefully, when you don't listen carefully.
You cut off my train of thought
Run over my mind like a mack truck
I get stuck
Afraid to say what I feel
Forgetting what I feel to say
I've changed and grown and matured into someone you do not know
I do not have the patience
for impatience
or living in the past
Name dropping, show stopping tales of yesteryear
To re live the past is something I fear…like Lot's wife
I don't want to look back
I want to keep moving forward into the light of who I am NOW.

Looking forward to a future in paradise
Not remembering who 'they' think I was in the darkness of yesteryear
I am happy just knowing you are alive and ok.
It's ok….just to be…ok

I am not a counselor…. or one to control others
But I must control my world.
I've made too many mistakes allowing others to control me.
Telling me what I remember and don't remember.
What does it matter?
I put on a new personality
So I can serve God…Not men
Even if
you will no longer be my friend.

(c) 2013 Oni Lasana