Painful Memories - Part 2 Poem by Siobhan Niven

Illuminate my dreams, analyse and study them.

Terror fills my eyes at night, petrifying me.
The dawn bleeds in like a razors edge -
Sharp. Cutting. Brutal.

Existence haunted by your sight -
Seared. Burnt. Brandished,
Upon my shattered mind.

Release me!
Let me be free -
from all the turmoil enveloping me.

Ever feeling like that little girl -
Horrified. Hypothermic. Desolate.

Eyes burning with the stabbing of a thousand needles,
Desperately seeking contentment from my racing mind.

My flesh crawls like maggots on a corpse -
Intruding. Remembering. Sickening.

Pleading for sleep, empty my brain -
Just for once, needing refrain.

Yearning sleep, I call for rest, you put your hands upon my breast!

Deplorable, egregious, reprehensible beast -
Words for you: the very least.

No-one should ever know so young;
Fragile life, just begun -

Horrors which force you to grow up fast,
Dealing with things that may make each day their last.
Life-long struggle to escape the past.

For some time I wanted to end my life, your presence haunted my core.
Knowing your existed, trauma seeped from my pores.

Surrounded by love, I fought a battle bravely borne,
Truth slipped from my tongue, justice partially done.

Each passing night I prayed I'd wake, you'd have died a painful death -
Consumed with guilt from my rotten thoughts.

Then Karma blew her kiss of equity.
In sinister solitude, your malevolence left this world -
Your empty shell lay rotting.

Guilt and turmoil still consumed me -
No dancing on your grave.

Still struggle to rest, my mind still aches,
Trauma bore deep within.

Yet, here I stand -
Firm. Courageous. Beautiful.

Partially released -
Hope on my side,
shining her pure, encompassing light.