Papa By Lisa Salgado Poem by Ted Gomez

Today you received a phone call from your mother
She tells you that…. That your Father died and
That you can't come home because the family is
Quarantining. You freeze. You don't respond.
She tells you mija you must be
Strong for the family and maybe one day we can
Have a funeral. You don't know when you will see
Your family next. So you take on the task of remembering
Memories that are seemingly inaccessible.
Your Quince dance with your dad. He made you feel
As if you were the most beautiful person in the whole world
You never saw him smile that wide, the way he told you
He was so proud of you.
Your first day of college, he dropped you off and you saw
Him cry for the first time. He always told you to study hard
And become something more than he could've so you tried.
Your graduation day, him cheering so loud when they called
Your name.. And of course you were embarrassed at the time
But you wish you could hear him rooting for you one last time
Telling you everything will be okay, that he loves you
But you can't even bury your father properly
You can't even see your family
And so you cry. Every photo, every memory floods your brain
And suddenly you are thrown back to when you were 5 when
Your translated government forms for him,9 when he pushed
Your face into a cake during your birthday,21 when you
Took a tequila shot with him. And there's so many memories
And not enough time, and you are so lost without him, and he's not here to fix this so…
There's a reason we hurt sometimes, there's a reason
Why we break, why families shatter and split at the seams
Today I couldn't see my Father, or my Mother, or my siblings
Today my Father died and I wasn't there to say Goodbye
And I don't know when I'll be able to say my final Goodbye
So, Papa te amo mucho y te extraño. Lamento mucho no haber podido estar allí
Love your daughter