Post Op Poem by Sean Toland

3 weeks today:
If I knew this is how it would be,
I would never have let you slice into me,
I never thought I'd experience such trauma,
I never thought I could feel so low,
It's not something I can put into words,
This pain is not something I could show,
I wanted to die more times than I remember,
But I have no strength to make it so,

What do you do when your body fails you,
and no one will help you to the end,
what do you do when your family are hoping,
praying that your on the mend,
am I selfish for wishing the end?

Then I realise with a moment of self loving,
It's not my time, I must do something,
I can't leave now and not make my mark
I can't be remembered as a flame,
When I haven't even started to spark,