Recurring Nightmare - Part 2 Poem by Siobhan Niven

Longing to escape,
Deep aching inside.

Constant haunting, relentless in my head,
Insanity consumes -
Existential dread.

Everything you did; that now you cannot do;
Fill my whole being - Terror. Agony.
When darkness fills the room.

Knowledge you can't get to me, never offers hope.
You're in my psyche, never abiding -
Tugging on the rope.

I long to rise, face the conscious world
But, I'm paralysed, trapped by fear -
Again, a little girl.

Screaming out into the silence,
No-one hears my silent prayers -
Please, someone help me.

And there you are; laughing at me.
Manically cackling -
Torturing, hounding, belittling me.

STOP IT! You cannot hurt me - NO MORE!
I refuse to let you steal any more of me.

Yearning to be at liberty from your dark, sadistic hold -
To live my life, not just survive.

But...

There you are stalking my thoughts,
Causing havoc in my head.

Every solitary time -
especially when I go to bed.

Stop dementing me; I'm fighting to be strong.
This nightmare - I can't take this.
I've lived it far too long.

I pray to God, or whoever hears;
please let me wake, live my years.

Banishing you with all creation,
My family, art, music,
Bringing me such elation.