Schism Poem by Sharmeen Azam

How do I contend?
Have a prayer on my lips
and hypocrisy in my heart.
Question the essence
accept the faux.
Eyes deceive me.
Beauty that’s fleeting
more urges to keep.

Enormity of disbelief
compensates for reality.
A rage on the inside,
camouflages the smile.
Nuances,
make a believer out of me.
It can’t be!
It can’t be!
Should I be feeling sorry?

Every raindrop,
overcast skies,
absence of the sun
brings forth a warmth
in my soul.
I’m not gloomy
when such is the weather.
Say, that’s
a reflection
of the darkness of my heart.
Maybe not.
I see the beauty
on the lesser side of life.

Running against the grain.
Running against sane.
But what is sanity
in a world full of paradoxes!
Life full of misses.
Is this hypocrisy
Or
just reason under duress.
Was mine a wrong prayer
Or
plea for savior/salvation?