Pasha Satara

Rookie (Hagerstown, Maryland)

Seal Team Two Member - Poem by Pasha Satara

he was a wooden bead
he said his wounds were war-inflicted
vietnam vet
three tours of duty
plus the fall of saigon
a navy cross & two purple hearts
& i believed, brother!
i wanted to believe, to help, to comfort & console, to hold & kiss
& lick tears away & cut out shrapnel & soothe away nightmares
& desensitize him to the noise of fireworks. i wanted to give him
easter baskets & birthday parties & fresh cookies
from my very own easybake oven, a home filled with christmas cheer
& a stack of presents just for him. i tried to make it right, make it good, make it whole, make it holy, turn it up, dance naked, feed his soul, crack the nut, fight the enemy, entertain his cohorts, edit his books, wash his hair, & give him children. i explained away the bruises on my throat, the cats & phones that hit the wall & always meowed only once upon impact, the fingerprints on my arms, the coffee grounds
in the bathtub, the stars on the bedroom ceiling, the cobwebs
only a spider would love, mudhoney dripping from the stereo,
shoot me up, shoot me down, kick me once, kick me around...
it's okay, baby,
baby, it's okay.
i'll explain it all away for him, for me, for them, for it,
for the price of a banana & a kidney bean, i'll do it.
i'll do it until his daughter tells me he is having three affairs.
i'll do it until his sister tells me he was married at least eight times before me & that, she doesn't know me after our six years of marriage but that i'm not safe.
i'll do it until his first (no, second) wife tells me she was in the navy
with him & that, due to his migraines, he never left pensacola.


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Poem Submitted: Monday, March 31, 2008

Poem Edited: Monday, March 31, 2008

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