She Flies (Don'T Lie) Poem by Amanda Lawson

it's at the edge of night, and you're looking for a fight,
but i can't walk away.
if you push me i will fall. but just wait...
i'll call and tell you it's okay if you stay.
i give you my love, but the rest you can take.
just don't step on the pieces of my heart when it breaks
apart from this weight that i have on my shoulders.
(i was the pretty girl standing in the corner) .
now i'm running away where my tired feet take me.
my eyes are wide shut, i'll only stop if you make me.
just look for a weakness; there should be a crack.
if you don't, i'll keep running, and i'm not looking back.
so now watch me float, above the trees i go so high.
you have to let me go....just hear the words i spoke,
'don't stay if you can fly'.
you see me walk away, but you don't know where i go.
no one hears the doubts and my fears as they grow.
you can only hear this song and my words as they flow...
i hope you understand, because it's the only thing i know.
the forecast is dreary, looking bad for the home-team.
it's hard when your world comes apart at it's own seams,
but i know what it's like to have your insides out,
when you don't feel safe from the things that you think about.
but you sew the seeds, and then i will grow;
a beautiful flower to have and to hold.
step back and admire this garden we've planted,
then wake up to find out that our lives are dismantled.
but somehow we make it, our love will go on...
just don't let me slip off this soapbox i'm standing on.
remember mistakes and the holes we fell into,
but never regret the places we've been to.
will you catch me when i fall?
pretend i never asked at all...never ever asked at all.
we took steps together, but then those steps faltered.
who knew that happiness lives in a bottle?
it's not in your heart where i thought it was growing; it only beats there just to keep your blood flowing.
and it's not a game, but somehow we keep score.
one always gives less, and the other gives more
-words, that is, but it's not the same language.
it hurts to find out you don't know what my name is.
but you know what my soul craves, and it might be enough.
just don't take me for granted, and i won't bleed much.
red on your hands, i will smear if you use me.
so warm with life, i'll turn cold, and you'll lose me.
is it love that's between us, or only a spark?
do flames creep slowly and dance in the dark?
what began as a spark rages now like a fire.
it burns away truth, and it makes me a liar.
but i'm not a liar.

(january 2008)