Sinned To Be Born A Girl? Poem by Shankaran Kutty

The putrid smell of smoke and sweat
Pervaded the dim lit room
And alone I sat in eager wait
No time to drown in gloom

Born I was to loving parents
With a mother so pretty and loving
Her death cheated me of her love
Of my sorrows it was the beginning

Within a week my father brought
Home, a new young wife
As if my mother and her memories
Never meant anything in his life

My step-mom was the most cruel
Putting Cinderella’s to shame
And everything wrong in our house she found
I was the one to blame

As my step-sister and brother were born
She had no time for me
And all the wealth my father had
She never wanted divided by three

It was a day after my twelfth birthday
When an old lady came a calling
My mother asked me to go with her
And said she would be caring

When wads of notes she counted and got
I still had no clue
The life full of sin and evil
I will have to go through

She took me to a house in an alley
One that looked so quaint
Bedizened me in gaudy clothes
And dabbed my face with paint

When I saw my very first client
I stood, trembling with fear
I then let out a curling scream
When he came too near

It was all over in a trice
He left me in a shamble
From then on my world and my dreams
I saw before me crumble

I once tried to run away
But was caught and beaten blue
Next time you try, kill you I would”
He said and I knew it was true

From then I knew I couldn’t fight
No point in feeling dread
Politician, police, student and officer
Everyone I had to bed

God knows I don’t do it for fun
Or pleasure or material gain
Fifteen years hence, each time I submit
I go through the mental pain

I don’t blame my step mom or
That woman, for my sinful fate
But all those men who come to sin by choice
Cheating their legal mate

By day they walk so regal and smart
And act so polite and nice
Yet, at nightfall in their hypocritical ways
They fill themselves with vice

Next day they walk out to speak
Against the evils of flesh trade
Knowing well this is a vice
They themselves by night have made

When my emotions hit a longing crest
Oft I have thought of death
But my life was given by the Lord
Only he can take my last breath

They live a life of debauchery
An animal, more than a man
Even animals learn to show respect
To the females in their clan

What despicable twist of character
Makes a man so vile
When God has made all beings equal
To expect a woman to be servile

One who has a mother and a sister
For his own carnal pleasure
Can he seek the forbidden
A woman’s greatest treasure

Forgets the man who thus indulge
He too was born of a womb
The sins of his acts savage
Will carry beyond his tomb

There was a time when I too dreamt
Of a childhood fun-filled and free
Of days in school and loveable friends
And my parents beside me

To get a job, have a career
Travel far and wide
A loving husband and cute little kids
Always by my side

Is it my curse to be born a girl
That my dreams were not to be
I wish I could one day forgive
Those who did this to be me

If my prayers are heard for a better tomorrow
Then it is worth the price
To a time when girls can dare to dream
Let the world arise.