So I Don't Miss You! Poem by Nissi Lunga

Passing down the corridor to that
empty room no one uses anymore,
Grinded my teeth as I turned the
door knob, knowing that the sound
of the door opening would end without
me seeing your face.
I forced myself to taste it,
to swallow it,
to face it,
and to believe that...
you are someone else's now.
The tree with our initials has
been chopped down,
along with the hope of
holding your hand again,
hearing your voice again,
going to the museum again,
celebrating my birthday again...
smiling again!
All those things that connected
me to you I have severed.
To love,
to trust,
to dream,
to 'move on'
What a myth!
Saved myself the horror and
stopped looking in the mirror,
only half my reflection will be
visible... you completed me.
I had never traveled the world before,
but with you I saw it all,
sitting n my black couch- which,
I sold last week,
along with your laughter,
spoiling movie endings for me,
popcorn fights,
your cuddles,
... your scent.
I got money back,
but didn't get you back.
I did all this so... so I don't miss you,
but I still do.