So Much Love To Give Poem by Louise Tredoux

What solution for negative feelings
spoiling our lives, the possessiveness
and jealousy that cut like knives when
Rudi gives more attention to his work
and to others, the burning in my heart
when he seems to ignore me

Maybe this is the reason why we should
not love too much, why Othello killed
Desdemona blindly, in unreasonable
jealousy, are people we love better off
without our smothering love? - I don’t
want to love Rudi less

Yet feeling ashamed that my love is so
flawed – spiritual books say love needs
freedom to stay – how free should he be?
Is a passionate soul burning in desire the
price we have to pay for real, overpowering
love? If so, I shall pay the price

Suffering the concomitant jealousy for the
heavenly delight when Rudi returns to me
after doing his duty; if he thinks other girls
more beautiful than me, I shall try to win him
by offering him my own happiness, working
to be glad and content - not throwing

My negative feelings at him, the only real gift
we can offer another is joy, I don’t expect Rudi
to DO anything to make me happy – the only thing
I need is for him to EXIST, to fill a unique space
with his feelings, personality and thoughts, to
dream as he does - if his dreams include me

I’ll be happy, all I require is interaction with him;
even if pure and chaste from afar – but that is
not necessary yet since Rudi is here, lovingly,
and I have so much love to give…