Solitude Poem by keron Johnson

I always want to believe, i'm worth something, believe i'm a good person, believe i'm worth loving. Its so hard that no one knows, how i feel, how everyday i want to tear my flesh apart. They don't know the the darkness i suffer in my heart, they'll never understand how much i hate myself to the point i don't wanna be in my own skin, i hope they never see my mental instability. Right now i'm fighting my inner demons, i'm fighting that inner war which seems to be a losing battle. I'm at a point now where i feel like i don't know what's right from wrong. How? How can i trust myself. I find myself asking, How much more do i have to suffer? How many more endless battles? How many more sleepless nights? How much more can I take, before i break down? I'm just so tired of the eternal battles. Insanity, rage, solitude, inferiority, and sadness. This is how I feel. No matter what i do, i'll never be good enough, and no one knows the lengths i go to keep it inside, so I some how try to hide my pain in people, but people come but never really stay so im alone in my solitude again. Love, Trust, Friendship, Hope, are slowly fading away. Now I have nothing left but my scars that will never go away. With my Inner demons, inner wars, I'm stuck in the middle of it all. I'm try to pulling myself together now but i'm also trying not to fall.