Solo Poem by Mr Davies

I have this pain deep inside that I never let the world see,
I grab my pen and write down all my failed attempts as I keep drifting from reality,
Seeing my trembling from a distant, Asking myself why I'm so distant, I'm convicted
I'm convinced that I predict that all my wishes on my wish list won't be heard
'Cause I'm committed to the lie that feeling safe is unrealistic
When I'm distant.
My train of thought is leading me to different tracks
Positive that where I'm at is not where I should stay,
Though I feel like I'm at a stand still waiting on someone to pull me out of this trap,
If time heals why I'm I here feeling like I dont deserve better,
I am tired of holding on to things, I don't want to wait another day. Running away from a shadow that follows me everywhere I go and disappears when I'm in the dark. I just wanna take a hit, keep saying I'm gonna quit
Keep saying I'm gonna leave, but I stay though
I just want a little fix, I don't wanna take a risk
I don't like it when I drift from the safe zone. I don't wanna see or
Have a bunch of people to impress, Pressure pushing me from all sides
Insecurities of all kinds
Yeah, I'm a hostage to my own pride
Most important things in life to me are things I know I can't have. It's pretty had to watch my life on edge so I talk to my inner critic as I look at the sun and wander, 'When we view things in the cosmos, for example the sun, we are not seeing the sun as it actually is, but it takes light a little over 8 minutes to get from the sun to the earth, so when we see the sun, we are looking 8 minutes into the past, ' then I ask myself how fast I'd have to go just to get back the old days. Back then when I wasn't soo Solo, when I had a smile both inside and outside, when I could count on family and friends. I guess somethings were never meant to be uncovered so I have to leave my life undercover and investigate the cause of this pain.