Something I Look At-258 Poem by Smrui Ranjan Mohanty

SOMETHING I LOOK AT-258
BY-SMRUTI RANJAN MOHANTY

When I look at me
I look at a life spent in vain
The mirror tells
Where and how I erred

I visualise
The time wasted
In cultivating and nurturing relationships,
In socialising myself
That turned into liabilities at a later stage.
I see myself chasing marriages
Carrying coal to new castle to go ahead
In the rat race
In proving myself
My love and integrity, intention and concern
And my superiority over others

Trying to satisfy everybody
I ended up satisfying none
My endeavour only landed me
In a pool of sorrow
Striving to convince others
I convinced none
Lost me in the way and
My significant others
Their changing moods
And fluctuating priorities
Became the source
Of my happiness and sorrow

Could not understand
How time flew by
In proving and projecting myself
In satisfying my ego, hatred and greed.
Pride, selfishness and malice
By the time I realised
Found me on the wrong side
With my body and mind
Not responding

Let me come out of the ashtray
To see whether anything still left in me
To make a comeback
To find that moment
I have been waiting for ages

Smruti Ranjan Mohanty©
India
21.6.2023
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