Something I Look At-466 Poem by Smruti Ranjan Mohanty

SOMETHING I LOOK AT-466
BY-SMRUTI RANJAN MOHANTY

As And When I Came

As and when I came,
I begged your hands.
This time, I cannot.
Up against time and tide,
I lay my heart at your feet—
if you have time,
listen to it;
it beats for you, for you only.

I was with you
in all my births.
I am with you even now,
though not in the same way
I once was—
yet the soul remembers
what time forgets.

Forgive me, if you can.
Destiny tore us apart.
I hardly match your grace and grandeur in this birth—
tell me, with what face
shall I face you,
the epitome of grace and elegance?
I carry only a name that trembles before you,
a name that burns in its own longing.

Though miles away,
I see you, feel you deep inside,
live with you every moment—
when awake,
and even in my subconscious mind,
it is none but you
who silently reign,
like a prayer I cannot unlearn.

You cannot imagine
how I feel
when I do not sense you,
when your shadow leaves me in a barren land,
leaving me all alone
with my aching heart—
I reach out to silence, hoping it still carries you,
but even silence breaks without you,
and still, it beats for you, for you only.

Let your shadow shine forever,
and looking at it,
let me make my final departure—
a quiet return into your unseen light.

As and when I came,
it was always you—
beyond births and endings,
the one I remain within,
the one I return to, again and again.

Smruti Ranjan Mohanty©
India
1.5.2026
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