Still I Struggle With This Ramdas.. To Know His Origin.. Poem by Ramdas Bhandarkar

Opening my eyes, opening ears
Nothing felt first, nothing I knew
who Ramdas is, where he is
what he is, whether it is she or he

One was near and the dear
later learned to call mother
with her learned of others
sisters and father and brothers

World planted Ramdas in me
Ego's branches grew like tree,
Beleiving world. I believed myself
Thought Ramdas is I myself..

I was free of religion, never found one
World called me a Hindu, Indian
I believed and saw Muslims and christians
Later many more, alike me, still different

Mother, my true love, my only pure love
she taught many things, I don't know how
She disappeared but lives in me till date
She said God is great, I knew she is great.

Then flapping my immature wings
in my own way learning things
Falling many times, gaining strength raising
What I saw is myself with world changing

Fooled by myself and my thoughts
my instincts and internal fights
flying wide, here and there, not reaching heights
Still I struggle with this Ramdas..
to know His origin..
what He is and What place he has!