Tex Poem by Robert Eckstein

The Sheriff laid a hand on Tex
And said, 'Boy, you're in a jam.
'If half of what I've heard is true,
'You should be on the lam.'

Tex said, 'No Sir, I'll stand my ground
'And tell you what I did.
'He's buried out behind the barn,
'His saucer has been hid.'

'I took it for a spin last night,
'To have a little fun
'And chased my cows around the field.
'You should have seen them run! '

'I caught him with my wife, you see.'
Tex pointed at his house.
'He must have snuk in from the back
'As quiet as a mouse.'

'He had his tentacles all over her,
'And that's an honest fact.
'I had a right to pull my gun,
'I'd caught them in the act.'

The Sheriff said, 'Tex, come with me.
'I'm taking you away.
'I've spoken with his buddies:
'Here's what they had to say.'

'He was a dermatologist
'From out in distant space.
'Betty Lou hoped to surprise you
'With a brand-new lovely face.'

'He took off all her warts and bumps,
'And shaped her up. That's all.
'If you had a good look at her,
'She's smooth as a cue ball.'

Tex said, 'Let's go and dig him up.
'I've a shovel and a pail.
'Maybe his pals can bring him back
'And keep me out of jail.'

Tex was in luck.
They dug him up before he could take root.
Tex apologized and sent him off
In his best new cowboy suit.