The Brabbling Wife (Va.,1662) brabble: To Clamor; To Contest Noisily (I.E., To Slander) . Poem by jackilton peachum

THE BRABBLING WIFE
(Va.,1662)
Brabble: to clamor; to contest noisily (i.e., to slander) .

I'm a dead man! Oh, Lord, what have I done?
I only thought to quiet her awhile-!
There I was, embroiled in all those conceits,
Lawsuit after lawsuit for her slanders,
My little earnings going for court fees,
And paying off the folk she would defame!
Now, I will have to leave this Colony,
Yes, I'll run away- off to Roanoke—
The Occaneechi, savage as they are,
Can't be half so cross as an angry wife
When her husband's up an' spoke the wrong word!
In my case, several wrong words was said,
All because of that law the Burgess passed—
But what were they thinking, those foolish men?
Did they never consider what happens
To a poor defenseless man afterwards?
To wit: a husband finds himself in court,
Time and again, because of brabbling wife,
He may choose to pay costs— or have her ducked-
And I- stupidly- must have the ducking!
A crowd gathers along the river bank,
A fine day it is, sun shining brightly,
Not a cloud in the sky- landscape serene.
But then, my Jone is brought and looks at me,
Oh, I sees the cloud that is a-coming!
When she's at last secured within the seat,
The chair going down, she glowers at me—
That gag in her mouth, it stifles her curses,
But the marrow of my bones goes all cold,
My heart jumps up, catches me in the throat!
She's once, now twice, down three times in the pond,
And still her gaze on me never falters!
Released again, dripping, she walks by me,
Wordless, off to home— an' I following,
My knees shaking- where I soon meet my match!
You know my oldest boy, Tom, the big one?
Well, almost at once, she sic'd him on me-
He beat me within an inch of my life,
Then threw me out the door and chased me off!
I'm here in the woods where I'll spend the night,
Only a thin coat, sleeping on the cold ground,
Bruised and battered and licking of my wounds,
Wondering if the redskins will find me—
Or if, by morn, I'll die of an ague!
I fear for my life on more than one cause—
She'll never let up- that boy will kill me!