The Following Pair Poem by Ambrose Bierce

O very remarkable mortal,
What food is engaging your jaws
And staining with amber their portal?
'It's 'baccy I chaws.'

And why do you sway in your walking,
To right and left many degrees,
And hitch up your trousers when talking?
'I follers the seas.'

Great indolent shark in the rollers,
Is ''baccy,' too, one of your faults?
You, too, display maculate molars.
'I dines upon salts.'

Strange diet!-intestinal pain it
Is commonly given to nip.
And how can you ever obtain it?
'I follers the ship.'