The Grey Ritual Poem by Milton Wayne

I'm afraid to be love again.
I'm afraid to be in love again.
I'm afraid to be love.
I'm afraid to be love by you.
I don't want to be the main reasonyou're not happy anymore.
I'm afraid to be around you.
Draining my willingness to be positive.
No respect.
No care in the world.
Just your feelings and me hearing you out with no worries.
I'm afraid to have another child.
Only to hear again that I'm the reason why we have a child infrontof a crowd.
Daily torturing me consciously.
Daily my soul snatch from my limbs.
Weak vessel, erasing my representation to establish your smile.
A smile that will never be satisfied to my potential.
Daily appreciating those surrounding me who seemed to exist in your fantasy land.
I'm afraid to have sex again.
Too many diseases.
Too many addictions being fulfilled.
Being luke warm at the alter.
Hoping that hope won't fade in the shadows.
So I rather make it official today that I'm going celibate.
What do you really want from me.
Am I money to you.
Am I sex.
Speak up little Milton I can't hear you clearly.
Licking your lips.
Sucking the soul out of me.
So where do I place my identity.
Too vulnerable for my taste she say.
That will be your car note and rent too.
Oh you don't have it he say.
That's ok just take out a loan and you can gamble your life away freely.
Feed the needy,
with only no braand no panties you can live a luxurious lifestyle.
Wash the makeup away babygirl.
Don't be afraid they're just wolves they won't bite they say.
Scars and bruises is ok just where this they won't see your heart.
Begging for love.
Begging for papi
Another lost soul they say.
I'm afraid to be love again.
I'm afraid to be in love again.
I'm afraid to be love.
I'm afraid to be love by you.
By: M.W. Styner, Jr.